I’m On The Edge

GOOOOD AFTERNOON! If you happened to read my first entry about being so GD happy, you might remember that I am a self proclaimed NON morning person. And I don’t take it back. But there’s also something else you should know about me. I pretty much do what I want. Someone can tell me not to do something because it’s bad for me, or to do something because it would be good for me. But unless I REALLY want to not do or do something, I don’t do it. Unless my mom asks me to do it. Or my dad. Or if it’s a favor for a friend. And then of course there are the obligatory “I’m a mom so I do things I don’t “want” to do because I love my kids” things that I do.

Here is an example. Almost a year ago (the 2nd week of March to be exact) I got a nasty case of Mastitis (I was nursing) & I was in a LOT of pain. So I texted my friend Nicole who is smart about all the mom stuff, and she directed me to her friend Ilana who was apparently an expert in boob pain. She asked me a few questions and told me to answer honestly because otherwise I wouldn’t start to feel better. She quickly learned that I’m not really a veggie eater, and that I don’t really even know what gluten is. Then she asked me something I always dread answering: “Do you drink any soda?” I so did not want to answer that. Because the answer was YES. But not just any soda. I drank Diet Coke. From McDonalds. Out of a large styrofoam cup. Every. Single. Day (sometimes more than once). She told me in a not to be mean sort of way that Diet Coke should only be used for science experiments. I was like, yeaaaaaa OK ILANA who I used to like but don’t anymore. (TOTALLY KIDDING girl I love you you know  I do!)
The truth is, she wasn’t the first person to tell me that it was bad for me. Lots of people had. I had also read countless posts on Facebook about the subject and a few articles. But then it occurred to me… that my sister who I shared this love for Diet Coke from McDonalds in a styrofoam cup with was no longer here, and if she couldn’t have diet coke anymore, then I didn’t WANT it. Forget that it was the middle of Lent. It was never too late to give something up. And what do you know. My mastitis cleared up instantly and my baby started sleeping through the night. My husband started seeing a huge difference in my mood and energy level and it wasn’t before long that I realized that maybe it wasn’t what Illanya said that made me give up my beloved DC, but she set the wheels in motion for me to want to. And I have not had a single sip in almost a year. And here’s the kicker. It wasn’t really even hard. PLUS I’m better for it in SO MANY WAYS! (For the record I still love you if you drink soda or DC!)
Ok so fast forward to today, February 1st 2017. Don’t tell me to start working out and discover healthy habits for the New Year. I don’t do things like everyone else. I don’t do things until… that’s right! Until I want to. And lately I have decided I want to one up my kindness and energy levels and I heard through the grape vine AKA Elle Woods (and my friend Dillia) that exercising releases endolphins (calm down I know it’s endorphins) which makes you happy. And happy people just don’t bite their family’s heads off because heaven forbid they had to wake up and start their day. How am I to lead a tiny army with kindness if I myself am not kind first thing in the morning? So then my friend Christine who has a ROCKIN bod (and who is 10 years my senior so it’s not too late for me) told me about her AMAZING spin instructor Carmen and I had a revelation. I want a body like Christine’s! And I mean, I want to be healthy, too.  And so today I was spotted at the 5:45AM spin class at InCycle in Carmel, IN with a bunch of other mental people who have discovered the secret of endolphins. And it was OVERALL amazing.
For starters, Carmen is pretty f*ing cool. And today she did a mash up of Luke Bryan and Lady Gaga to get our juices flowin’. This was important to me for a few reasons. 1) I connect to lyrics and today’s were SPOT ON. “I’m on the Edge… OF GLORY” for starters. 15 minutes into this class and I was like UMMMM NO. I’m done. There is NO way I can spin another spin. But then I did. 2) Then I was listening to Luke Bryan sing about trucks and beers and hot girls and I was like. I want to be a hot girl. Better keep spinning. And then 3) Carmen said smack dab in the middle of class above the jams, “Give it your all! It isn’t easy but LIFE isn’t easy!” And I found myself crying a little. If you would have told me two and a half years ago that I would find importance in waking up at 5:10AM to SPIN after my sister was murdered  by her ex husband who then killed himself, I would have told you you are MENTAL. But here I am raising my sister’s 2 boys and my 3 children and incase you are terrible at math like myself I’ll do it for you: That’s five human beings who rely on me to love them, support them, feed them, clothe them, encourage them, come down on them, and TEACH them the importance to life. And damn it. I WANT TO BE AROUND FOR THEM for as LONG as God & my body will let me. And I’ll take all the help I can get. (NO really. Mom. Can you please come over and help me fold laundry?)
It’s not a coincidence that today is the first day of the month of LOVE and I decided to start a journey of loving myself. The class ended with Lady Gaga telling me that I was born this way. DAMN STRAIGHT GAGA! I am different and normal and ME! And I like “this way” when I have a GOOOOOD head start to all of the requests for different breakfasts and complaining about a sore throat and telling me that they need new socks and requesting 2 more ice cubes for their water and pleads to pay Peppa Pig and baby crying for no good reason because babies cry for no good reason. So I’ma give this exercise thing a real go.
To wrap it up, I just WANT to say that you really can do anything you want to do. Life IS hard. But we only have one shot at it. And I’m gonna take my shot of looking semi decent in a two piece & living a long(er) and prosperous life. In closing: Don’t be a drag. Just be a Queen.
XOXO CS
PS, if you liked “The Fault in Our Stars” or “Paper Towns”, see what John Green has to say about my girl Carmen. I told you she’s awesome —> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iat3xqq24TI&feature=youtu.be
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#nofilter #imjustirishandgetreallyredwheniworkout
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3 thoughts on “I’m On The Edge

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